Beauty is important in our world. One magazine advertises a proclamation of the 50 most beautiful people in the world every spring. It may be true for men as well, but certainly some woman will top the list and be proclaimed the most beautiful woman. Especially for women, the idea of being beautiful or at least being considered beautiful is very important. Every little girl wants to be beautiful.
It seems to me that the idea of being considered beautiful is an aspiration that women in our culture are saturated with. We call them beauty salons and most women are more than a little concerned about their hair. Even three year olds walk by the fashion shop and notice the dresses saying, ‘how pretty!’ Beauty is desirable but this is tricky isn’t it?
I remember hearing about mathematician who was calculating algorithms or something on a famous movie star attempting to measure mathematically just why so many consider this particular woman to be beautiful. This is where it gets tricky. How do we know what true beauty is? How do we know that the authors of the magazine article are measuring beauty accurately? Is it possible that an entire culture could measure beauty wrongly?
This morning we are considering Ephesians 5.22-24. This is a passage about wives submitting to their husbands. This passage is closely related to 1 Peter 3.1-6 and I want to try to tie these two passages together this morning in an attempt to get at an idea of true and lasting beauty. What is beauty? More particularly, what makes a woman beautiful? May God give us eyes to see and appreciate true and lasting beauty as we read Ephesians 5.22-24.
In this passage we first want to see that the beauty of a woman makes a declaration and, secondly, the beauty of a woman is measured by God.
The beauty of a woman declares the glory of Christ in the church.
You will notice in verse 22 that this is a passage about wives submitting to their husbands. Sadly, throughout human history and even in our world today, women and wives have been mistreated, disrespected, and abused by chauvinistic men who perverted this teaching. It is true that this doctrine has been misunderstood and perverted by many men. This is wrong and we should say so. Nevertheless, wives are explicitly commanded by God to submit to their own husbands and no perversion of man nullifies this command of God.
The word submit is found in verse 21 and carries over into verse 22. There is no getting around the language. The Greek word used means to rank under, to be subject, or to obey. While this certainly has nothing to do with equality of being, intelligence, or capability, it has everything to do with God’s design for men and women. God has designed men to be sacrificial, servant leaders. God has designed women to be happily submissive helpers.
If men and women are equal in worth and value, then why this distinction in role? We will consider the leadership of a man next week. The submission of a woman, however, is a glory for that woman and one of the reasons that this is so is that it declares the glory of Christ in the church. Notice verse 23-24. The Christian woman who joyful submits to her husband, though he be imperfect, demonstrates the joyful submission of the church to Jesus Christ.
God has given the supreme place in the universe to His own Son, Jesus Christ. Through the resurrection from the dead, the Father has given the Son to be head over the church as well. The church is the body of Christ and Christ is the head of the body. The head and body are united together. The head directs the body and gives it life. If there is no head, then there is no life. The body has joy to be united to its head and to submit to its direction.
One of the most evangelistic things we can do as a church is be happy! Where do you find happy or joyful local churches? Joyful local churches are churches that submit to the Lordship of Christ. A church that seeks the Lord through His word and obeys Him will be a happy church. Happy churches are wonderfully compelling and evangelisticly fruitful, because unbelievers will be struck by joy when they see it. Life is filled with sadness and horror and depressing realities, but if unbelievers see a church joyfully loving Christ they will be drawn to it.
Submitting to Christ isn’t a negative thing, because Christ is filled with love for and the desire to do good for His church. Jesus Christ and His glory are the eternal pleasure and glory of the church. Because the marriage of a man and woman, is a picture Christ and the church, the wife who submits to her husband does her part to show the glory God Jesus Christ in the church.
Your husband may or may not do his part, but you can always do your part. Husbands we ought to do all that we can to make it easy for our wives to submit to us. We should put the sacrificial love of verses 25-29 into practice daily as a way of encouraging our wives to be obedient to Christ. It will be easier for her to obey the command to submit to her husband, if you are a loving man.
It is beautiful for a woman to submit intelligently and gladly to her husband as an expression of her love and devotion to Christ. A submissive spirit is the true beauty of a woman. A woman who is selfish, rebellious, loud, or domineering is not beautiful no matter what she looks like. There is so much more than meets the eye to the beauty of a woman, which brings us to our second point.
The beauty of a woman is measured by God.
What does submission have to do with beauty? Well, this is where we must consider words on this same topic in 1 Peter. You might want to turn here or at least listen carefully to the words of Peter. 1 Peter 3:1-6 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives- 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing- 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Here is how the Bible describes the true beauty of a woman. A woman is beautiful when she possesses a gentle and quiet spirit. This is true of married women and single women. Even a single woman can live out this beauty to God’s glory. A married woman does it explicitly by submitting to her husband. And, the Apostle Peter says that God is the ultimate judge of beauty not People magazine.
This passage does not forbid all jewelry or makeup. If that were so it would also forbid all wearing of clothes and we know that’s not the case. It doesn’t forbid all of these things, but it does provide an unbelievably liberating perspective for a woman. Rather than living for the clothes, the make up, the certain figure, the approval of man, live for the inward dress of quietness, the hidden beauty of gentleness, live for the approval of the living God. God says that is true beauty; don’t be deceived about beauty by believing what our wicked culture says. No, believe God’s word! There is another beauty to be had and it can be had by every woman who believes in Jesus. The beauty of a woman is measured by God!
It is true that wife is to submit to her husband and this means something very real and very challenging for every wife. One Puritan described it this way; The wife is bound in conscience to obey her husband in every thing that is not contrary to the will of God.’ That’s not easy, but it is the call of God upon your life. Because this is so challenging and so easily misunderstood, I want to take a moment to say what submission is not. Here are six things that submission does not mean.
1. Submission does not mean agreeing with everything your husband says. 2. Submission does not mean leaving your brain or your will at the wedding altar. 3. Submission does not mean avoiding every effort to change a husband. 4. Submission does not mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ. 5. Submission does not mean that a wife gets her personal, spiritual strength primarily through her husband. 6. Finally submission does not mean that a wife is to act out of fear.
There is biblical support for each of these and we could easily add to the list. However, this should at least give you an idea that submission is not the awful prison that women’s lib would have you to think it is. No, biblical submission is the outworking of what God calls inner beauty, true beauty, beautiful beauty. A submissive spirit is an evidence or an overflow of a woman who is caught up in love for God, being satisfied with God, worshipping God above all others.
Wives, women, girls, I plead with you not to buy our cultures lie that your appearance is the only thing about you that matters. I plead with you to see the truth and glory of this passage. I plead with you not to spend your life chasing some unachievable cultural idea of beauty. I plead with you to devote yourself to pursuing true beauty; the true beauty of simplicity, gentleness, quietness, and submission.
One of the developments of our cosmetic culture has been that of an entire industry devoted to plastic surgery. The American Society for Aesthetic Surgery reported in 2005 that there were 11.5 million cosmetic procedures performed in 2005. Many girls receive cosmetic surgeries as graduation gifts. Many women have surgeries to try to regain their youthful appearance or to achieve an ideal body type. I read about a 7-year-old girl who said, ‘When I’m 30, I have to have surgery.’ When asked why the girl replied, ‘When you get old, you have to get surgery to be pretty again.’
That statement might be humorous if it didn’t reflect the horror of what is being communicated to every little girl in our American culture. Every little girl should learn that they are a complete person and God is the ultimate judge of beauty. Ladies you must answer this question in your very soul. Is your heart satisfied? Do you find satisfaction in the stuff of this world? Can plastic surgeries and high fashion and new jewelry satisfy your heart?
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. This is instructive for every man in the room as well. Are you a part of the culture that puts so much pressure on women regarding their appearance? Are you consumed with the flesh on display in our world? Or you consumed with the God of Heaven who knows your deepest thoughts and the motives of your soul?
The Imperishable Beauty of a Christian Wife or Woman is reflected in submission and this should be sought by every woman and appreciated by every man. The Bible says of our Savior Jesus Christ that he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him (Isaiah 53:2). Jesus Christ would not have been appreciated by our shallow American culture because of his looks.
Yet, this same passage says that he submitted Himself to His Father’s will and gave His life in death to save sinners. Our unlovely Savior died to change our hearts more radically than any cosmetic surgery can change our bodies or our faces! Christ died and rose again to give us new hearts that find in Him the satisfaction that our culture will never know without Him. Will you turn from chasing shadows this morning and embrace our truly beautiful Savior?
Sources: John Piper, The Beautiful Faith of Fearless Submission. People Magazine. Albert Mohler.com. Richard Steele, The Duties of Husbands and Wives.
