Message By Andy Williams, Pastor of Students and Music
I’d like to speak for a few minutes about 2 passages of Scripture, and show: 1) how they fit together, and 2) why something that might make us sad, is actually really good news.
This message arose out of 3 factors:
- Mike’s sermon series on marriage, and his emphasis, which I believe is the correct emphasis, that Marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church.
- Thinking about a conversion I had with my father 8 years ago soon after my mother passed away from cancer.
- Knowing that as Mike was preaching on marriage, many of you were sitting in the pew alone, having lost your husband or wife.
My hope and prayer is that this message will be a comfort and encouragement to those of you who 1) have either lost a spouse, or 2) who may lose a spouse in the near future, or 3) who like me, hopes to have many more years with their spouse, but knows that one day, one of us will have to bury the other one.
I Believe that Theology, when we understand it, is a great comfort to us, because it tells us how the world really is. And the times we don’t feel comforted are often the times when we either don’t understand, or simply don’t believe the Good News that God has given to us. There is a saying that some people are too heavenly minded to be any earthly good. I don’t believe there is anyone that fits that description. It seems from the Bible that the more our minds are on things above, the more good we will be here on earth.
So what I’m going to do is briefly look at 2 passages of Scripture that speak on marriage, and hopefully show how something that seems like bad news is actually great news.
Mark 12:18-27, and Ephesians 5:31-32
Biblical Passages
Mk 12:18-27 -
23) In the resurrection, when they rise again, whose wife will she be?
25) …when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
Jesus also said in Matthew 19:6 “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
-Marriage is a work of God.
-Only God has the right to end marriage…in death.
So… Since my mother passed away 8 years ago, After 20+ years of marriage. If My Father remarries, He will not be a bigamist in heaven, nor will he be married to My Mother in heaven. God formed the Marriage, and God within his rights, chose to end it.
The Other Passage, which we looked at with Pastor Mike:
Ephesians 5:31-32 ”Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. – This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Now you can’t say this too often. You cannot say too often that marriage is a model of Christ and the church.”
-I’m Glad that Pastor Mike emphasized this, because saying that lifts marriage out of the sitcom, soap-opera sewer and elevates it into the bright, clear sky of God’s glory, where it was meant to be.
Now Paul is not using Christ and the Church as an illustration of Marriage. He is not Saying, “Marriage is a great truth, and I need to find some metaphor or picture I can use to show how important Marriage is… I know, it’s kind of like Christ and the church.
(As if he could have used anything…2 peas in a pod…PB & J… Christ and the Church)
That’s exactly Backwards! He is saying, The great reality is Christ and the church, and Marriage points to that greater reality.
Putting the Verses Together:
Jesus and Paul are letting us in on something here…The purpose of human marriage is temporary. But it points to something eternal: Christ and the church. And when this age is over, it will vanish into the superior reality to which it points. Marriage exists most importantly to display the covenant-keeping love of Christ for his Bride, the Church.
This means that those Christians who remain single, or who become
single through divorce, or through the death of a spouse, are not missing
out on the most ultimate blessing in life. They are part of Christ’s
eternal covenant with his Church.
When we are single, we can display:
1. That relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families (and, of course, it is wonderful when relationships in families are also relationships in Christ; but we know that is often not the case); I am first and foremost the Bride of Christ; and secondarily the Husband of Mandy.
2. That marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church-the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face.
So… Marriage, on earth, is Temporary. Is that good news or Bad news?
It was 8 years ago in June that my mother passed away from cancer, at the age of 45. And seeing my Father’s devotion and love and care for her during that time taught me a lot about how to love my wife.
Soon after she passed away, my dad was talking to me and said something that he may not have wanted to think about, but knew was true: He knew what Jesus had said in Mark 12, and he knew that in heaven, He would not be married to my mom. That part of his life was over. And he realized that many people who lose a spouse don’t want to think about that.
I mean, this is not the first bit of wisdom and comfort you give to someone whose wife has just died… “You know you won’t be married in heaven, right?”
I think the reason we don’t want to think about that, is that many people don’t realize or don’t really believe that our eternal union with Christ will be infinitely more satisfying than even the best Marriage here on earth.
If my greatest comfort in the death of my spouse is the hope that “I’ll get to see her in heaven one day,” I’m missing the point. Jesus says there will not be marriage in heaven. We may well recognize our friends and family in the new creation, but (1) we will know them primarily as other members of the body of Christ, who have been ransomed by the blood of Christ; and (2) the focus will not be on our human relationships, but on Christ, who is himself the great reward of heaven.
It is similar to those who ask questions like: “will there be golf in heaven, or football, or chocolate.” The answer is it won’t matter, because Jesus will be there.
In a time of deepest loss, my dad’s comfort was, and had to be, that God had something better. God takes our loved ones from us, but He gives us an eternity in which hour after hour, year after year with HIM will be filled with joy and satisfaction greater than the best moments of marriage.
Conclusion:
So…The truth that Marriage is temporary and points to something greater and more real gives us true comfort in times of grief. So that “We do not grieve as those who have no hope” Those who have lost the best thing they ever had… we haven’t. We haven’t lost Jesus.
But the Truth tests us too… I recently attended a wedding in which part of the vows was that the Bride and Groom promised to Love God more than their spouse, and put Him First. That’s a really hard promise to keep, especially if we think our earthly happiness is all that matters.
I Cor. 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully…
Now we can experience joy in marriage, but in the resurrection, the imperfect shadow gives way to perfection. Marriage is a pointer toward the glory of Christ and the church. And in the resurrection the picture vanishes into the true reality.
So I’ve been married a little over one year, and I know that I have a ton to learn about marriage. But I also know that neither of us are going to live forever…and I’ve told Mandy that I hope she goes first. (and you understand what I mean when I say that…I don’t want her to have to bury me.) I know that if God takes her from me, It will be a short time until I will be with Christ, and that God can make Mandy much more happy and satisfied than I could ever make her.
When this life is gone and it’s our time,
And we go where there’s no tears;
We will thank God for the years,
And then we’ll see…
That We were just a picture
Of the glory that’s to be,
When Jesus takes his perfect bride
For all eternity…
…It’s quite a pretty picture, in my opinion, but its still a picture. The best is yet to come.
Prayer:
II Cor. 4:16-18 “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
